so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
time to smoke my breakfast
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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