If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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