Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
