i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
my being single is dangerous.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
