Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
