Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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