wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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