I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
