were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
