Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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