i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
