More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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