it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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