so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
