That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
