youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
