wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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