No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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