3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We need to feng shui this bitch.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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