dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
