I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
