We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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