I can't watch pbs sober anymore
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
