Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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