hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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