from now on my penis is your penis
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
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His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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