Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
