The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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