You just made me feel so damn special
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
