you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize