just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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