So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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