Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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