in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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