i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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