well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
