everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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