My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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