I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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