it's too hot outside to masturbate.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
