New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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