I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
