My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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