That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
