i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
