If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
