no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
