apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize