just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
