i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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