Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
