Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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