I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
