You're a womanizer and a bitch.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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