Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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