too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
