it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
