It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
