Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
