Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
