You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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